2023 is about to end, and it feels like just yesterday when I wrote the 2022-year review. On December 31, 2022, I wrote, "I hope 2023 won't be a wasted effort." Looking back at 2023 now, honestly, I can say it is not.
Temporarily Ending My Role as a Worker
After a dull and barely thrilling working life in the first half of the year, on June 21, I officially ended my three-year career. This resignation was planned, and it was basically confirmed at the end of 2022. After losing passion for the projects and code I was working on, finding it increasingly difficult to derive a sense of accomplishment and self-worth from my job, coupled with a worsening promotion environment. After much thought, I felt it was time to move on to the next chapter of my life. On the day of my resignation, after completing all business handovers, returning my work computer and employee badge, and walking out of the office building, I felt like a new person, relieved that I would no longer receive service alarm calls in the middle of the night or worry about service issues causing accidents.
Looking back at these three years of working, I have mixed feelings about ByteDance. Firstly, I really liked ByteDance's working environment: the office building near the city center, the open mind culture, the various benefits (free meals, snacks, gym, swimming pool, holiday gifts), excellent colleagues, and many opportunities to interact with industry experts. Especially the ByteDance's culture of requiring addressing each other by name. In the company, people don't call their leaders "boss," "manager," "brother," or "sister", but directly by their names. At first, it was a bit awkward (especially under the chinese addressing culture), but after a while, I found that this way of addressing actually brings colleagues closer and makes communication more equal. Compared to Tencent use of English names and Alibaba use of nicknames, I prefer ByteDance's straightforward approach. Additionally, the lack of office politics made me feel very comfortable at work. It's not that there are no office politics at all within the company (I've seen quite a few scandals on the internal forum), but it's indeed rare in the technical sequence. Maybe everyone is too tired from writing code, fixing bugs, and attending meetings, and get off from work until 9 or 10 PM every day to have the energy for office politics. In fact, colleagues are always willing to help solve bugs. Direct supervisors also come from technical backgrounds, and as long as you have tangible output, they generally won't hinder your promotion. Most people still hold an idealistic view as technologists, hoping that the code they write and the products they create can have a positive impact on the world.
Of course, there are also some unpleasant aspects of working at ByteDance, and the most uncomfortable one for me is the overtime, with no work-life balance at all. Although it is said to be a flextime working system where you can leave as soon as you finish your work, in three years, the days I finished work early and left on time were very few. Additionally, as a backend engineer, the service maintenance and alarm handling after work, on weekends, and holidays implicitly increased my working hours, especially when the services I was responsible for were quite critical. During some holidays, which are peak traffic periods, it could lead to major incidents if there were a few minutes of crashes or service unavailability, ultimately resulting I have to stay before the computer in case of any service alarms during holidays.
Overall, these three years at ByteDance have been very rewarding. I earned my first million, gained a lot of industry experience, and experienced an excellent corporate culture. Looking back, perhaps failing the postgraduate entrance exam was a blessing in disguise? Finally, goodbye ByteDance, I wonder if there will be a chance to meet again in the future.
A Plan I've Had Since High School
After leaving ByteDance, I also started to fully prepare for a plan I had envisioned before -- studying abroad on my own. I remember in high school, I had a strong desire to study abroad and see the world with my own eyes. Of course, from the beginning, I knew this would be quite difficult for someone from an ordinary family with second-tier academic performance. After entering university, the free and easy university life gradually made me forget this idea. Although in my senior year, I felt envious when I saw my classmates receiving study abroad offers, it was just envy and don't know how to take actual actions. After officially starting work, due to the pandemic and the busy daily life, I had no energy to pursue this plan. Until the end of last year, the accumulated work fatigue made the idea of studying abroad resurface in my mind (plus I had saved some money). To be honest, I was always torn between finding a new job in the area near my hometown to settle down or going abroad to fulfill the plan I had since high school. After much deliberation, I slowly confirmed my thoughts: I don't want to settle down yet, and if I settle down now, I will definitely regret it in the future. Moreover, instead of letting my next generation fulfill my dream of studying abroad, I should fulfill it myself.
After deciding to study abroad, I started preparing for the English exams. I started preparation at the beginning of this year, while I was working full-time and preparing for the IELTS exam. Although it was exhausting, I felt hopeful every day, with a sense of excitement about entering a new stage of life. Until I started preparing for the IELTS speaking test, it's a nightmare. Unlike my imagined casual chat with the examiner, the speaking test was basically a "one-man show." Although there is a question bank for the speaking test, preparing for it is essentially memorizing the question bank, which I dislike the most, making me completely unenthusiastic about preparing. Finally, after more than two months of painful struggle, losing around 20 pounds, and failing the speaking test twice, I finally got a barely acceptable score in the third IELTS exam at the end of August. Then, after slacking off for more than three months until November, I started preparing application materials and submitted my study abroad applications. Fortunately, I finally received a study abroad offer.
Continuing to Explore What I Want to Do
Although I have basically confirmed the general plan for next year, I am still exploring what I ultimately want to do specifically. While I have now decided to work in the field of computer science, there are many directions within this field that can be deeply explored. After delving into mobile development, front-end development, back-end development, and dabbling in game development, 3D rendering, AI, and distributed systems, I have some interest in all of these, but I have not yet found a specific subfield that I am willing to pursue long-term. Sometimes I envy those "prodigies" in certain fields, not because of their talent, but because they might have determined what they want to do in life very early on. Perhaps what I need is a long-term project or business to work on, rather than a specific technical direction? This year, I haven't figured it out yet. My current strategy is to continue learning and exploring, hoping to find what belongs to me as soon as possible.
Music and Reading
Since I started learning playing the guitar after graduating from high school, music has always been an indispensable hobby in my life. This year, I officially started practicing the piano. Perhaps due to the previous practice with the guitar and violin, my progress in learning the piano has been significantly faster. However, I also know that this progress is far from enough to push my musical level into next. I still can't distinguish intervals and harmonies by ear, can't transcribe music, can't read sheet music quickly, and don't understand common harmony patterns and improvisation. But since it's a hobby, as long as it brings me joy, I'm satisfied with any progress, no matter how small.
In terms of reading, compared to last year, I read less this year, whether it was professional technical books or books of interest. However, I still maintained the habit of reading, even during periods of slack. Reading, like practicing the piano, has become a remedy for me to find peace in the noisy online world.
Conclusion
2023 to 2024 is destined to be a year of significant changes in my life trajectory. I feel both excited and nervous about these changes. For 2024, I just hope my studies abroad go smoothly, I stay healthy, find what I want to do, and find my direction.